The Race of Life

I know it's late, and I apologize to you, my readers, for being so far behind in my writing but it seems that it is just one thing after the next in my life.

I'll try my best to write post multiple blogs this week in order to make up for lost time!

So, I just turned 28 about 2 weeks ago, and I found myself wondering whether I've done enough in my life that is worth bragging about.

I have friends who are engaged or married, friends who've completed their master degrees, and are now working in the field they love, and I have friends who are starting families, bringing new life into the world, and thinking that they can now exhale for they have made it.

I mean isn't that the point of life? To meet milestones, set goals, and accomplish them. Typically how it works is first we graduate high school, then university with an undergraduate degree and then a master's degree, and then we get a wonderful job that we can at least tolerate, if not love. Next, we find our life partner, in hopes that it lasts forever, and then we have children, and the work-life balance begins.

But what happens to us as human beings, so caught up in societal norms and expectations, when we do not reach these milestones in an appropriate time?

I can tell you what happens to me, and maybe you would agree, if you choose to be honest with yourself.

When I had my daughter I had just graduated from university with an undergraduate degree, I was single, so marriage was out of the question, and I was unemployed, so there was no income and no job to love or tolerate.

I became so overwhelmed by self-doubt in my abilities as a new parent, as well as my abilities to be more than just another statistic, and more than just a wasted degree holder.

Currently, I have an undergraduate degree, and I am working towards another undergraduate degree, all in hopes of getting in graduate school for Physiotherapy where I hope I too, would finally have that moment where I can exhale and say, "I've made it!".

I oftentimes think to myself, how is it, that I will be nearing the age of 30 before I get into graduate school, having started my university journey at the age of 18...where did the time go?

Sapphyre is five years old now, and she is indeed my greatest achievement, but there are so many days when self-doubt still clouds my mind.

Being in a different country, alone with no family to lean on for support, makes some days seem longer than others. Some days I wonder if I should just pack up and head back home because it seems as though my goals are so far out of my reach right now.

I keep the self-doubt out of my mind by writing on my blog. It is so therapeutic for me, and I find that it can actually blur out those negative thoughts, feelings, and emotions....at least for a little while.

Somedays I feel like I should have chosen another field of study when I was at Acadia so that I could have been working by now, making good money, and spoiling my daughter rotten.

For me, I always think that successful men and women marry those whom they think are successful as well, and although I'm heading down the path to success, I feel as though my husband may just pass me by as I am not there yet.

But, I must remember that the race of life is not all about finishing first, it's about finishing, point blank.

I fear Sapphyre may be my only child as I'm getting older and the prospect of marriage does not seem to be anywhere in the near future for me.

I so badly would like her to have a sibling, sooner rather than later, but it is my duty to continue on this path, reach my end goal and hope that everything falls into place along the way.

We all should take the time to enjoy our lives. Enjoy opportunities we may have for travel. Enjoy opportunities to watch our children grow and be great. Take in and be thankful for the new job or promotion, even if it is just one step closer to your end goal.

Enjoy being able to open your eyes and experience a new day, knowing that every day won't be the same, and tomorrow can present new experiences.

Enjoy everything your life has to offer, and do not become discouraged by pauses along the way.